He had more speed in his step now as he stormed up to the door. Of course. Of course he was coming. He just couldn't stay away, could he? The thought made Seto all the more furious. It's not like he was in a good mood in the first place, especially ever since last night. But now...
Now someone had a little bit of explaining to do.
And hopefully there wouldn't be anymore violence, but no promises.
So. Here was Seto, trying not to pound the door off of it's hinges as he knocked on it. No, he didn't bring an ice pack, either.

Ow. Owowowowow I need an ice pack ow.
These were the thoughts going through Siegfried's pain-addled snark-tastic mind. That, and Screw you, Kaiba; wait, no, let me--gah, stay FOCUSED, stay FOCUSED...
Oh. Someone here. Perhaps it was Random Servant, who had left to find ice for an icepack. Sieg didn't have any ice left. Generally, he didn't need it.
He walked to the door -- damn it, that other self of his had ABANDONED him, and WHY? -- and opened it.
Oh, GOD.
"What do you want?" he spat (well, it came out slightly more like "Wha do yuu wat?", but that's neither here nor there.) This was ridiculous.
If you deck me again...

"Er..." That was a good question. What DID he want? Besides--um, no, no, not going down that particular route.
"I figured we would talk. After you...admitted..." He shifted around awkwardly. "We need to talk. Unless this is a bad time." He eyes Siegfried's jaw. Ha, I decked him but GOOD...
"I could always come back when you're feeling more up for it."

"No, 's fine," Siegfried muttered, glaring at his enemy/omg obsessee. "'m not doing any--anyfing buh waiting for some idiot to get back heah..." He sneered. "Are you goee to make fun of my enunshiation? 's not FUNNY, really..."
This is SHAMEFUL and DEGRADING...

Seto had to keep in a snicker. "Well...I wasn't going to, but...now that you mention it..."
Aw, Seto, c'mon, you should've brought that ice pack you said you might.
"I'll try not to say anything about it. Now...we ought to...discuss what's to happen now, I think..."

"Yesh, I sh--okay, let u--come in," Siegfried said irritably, trying to find the most dignified way to say it, and then moving aside.
Oh, next he'll just be punching me again. Damn it. Well, what else can I do? I practically asked him to.

Seto stepped inside, biting his lip to keep from laughing. If he was going to find that voice so funny, then this conversation isn't going to go well.
"Er..." He scratched the back of his head. "How 'bout that comment war, huh?" he began idly. So much for him being in a pissy mood. "I do hope we made Ryou cry."

"Hahahaha--ow," Siegfried said crossly. "I hope sho too. God, I've been in a bad mood shince you did THISH--" he violently indicated his rather swollen jaw -- "to me. It'sh really QUITE INCONVENIENT, you know..."

A lopsided grin found it's way onto his face. "I'm sure it is. Good. I was more aiming to break it, but I suppose I'd need to hit a little harder." He quirked a brow. "So I think it'd be wise not to try and slap and/or snog me again, don't you?"

"Wishe, yesh. But damn it, I don't alwaysh do what'sh wishe..." Sieg winced slightly. "I wash BLEEDING," he said sulkily, "I wash in PAIN, you BASHTARD--damn it!" he whimpered, slurring his important words yet again.

"Heh, I..really could come back another time...heh...when your jaw doesn't make you sounds so ridiculous..." He chuckled a little more. "Oh, dear, I ought not to laugh, but I can't help it. I suppose you ought to be glad I didn't do anything more to you."

"Oh, SHUT UP. Come on, jusht get thish over wif sho ash I can lie down and wish you were dead...pleash?" Siegfried felt like facepalming; this was embarrassing to the ninth degree. "...look, can you jusht...talk?" he said shamefacedly. "Let me be shil--quiet?"

"All right, all right!" Seto couldn't help the smirk that remained. "Okay...so the whole...you seriously being in love with me this time and not, as you've said a few times before, in lust...er..." Real smooth. Coming over and not knowing what to say anyway. "Well, this is...probably...going to change things a little. I'm not entirely certain how we're going to stay enemies this way."

"Can't we jusht hate each other? I don't shee how thish changesh our enemy shtatush that much. 's...oh, God, I shtill HATE you, you know..."
Because hate is the lesser of two evils, right?
"I'm not going to go mushy on you..."

"Well, how am I to know that?" said Seto, a little flustered already. "I haven't been doing a good job of knowing what you're going to do lately... How can you still hate me if you're so in love with me? I don't understand."

"It'sh a complicated thing," Siegfried said in what would be a wise-sounding voice, where it not for the fact that he was totally incapable of proper enunciation of his "S"s. "But really, it worksh. Shomehow. Shomeway." He nodded sagely. "I manage it."

"I...suppose..." he replied in a voice which didn't hold the same confidence. "But for how long? I mean, really, this hasn't been going on for that long, and maybe after a while things will...change, and..." He shifted almost nervously again. "I mean, really, how many more times are you going to slap me and then kiss me?"

"I don't know. Probably not going to do it NOW..." he slurred, rolling his eyes. "God, if you're sho apafetic towards the kisshing, how could it MATTER? I wouldn't fink you'd CARE; why on earf do you? I mean, shure it'sh probably so horrid for you, but really, if you don't CARE..."

"It's rather inconvenient, you know, randomly grabbing and kissing me." Not that he figured Siegfried would do it now. It'd hurt, for one, and for two, that'd just be more hilarious than anything else. "Especially if you do so for ten minutes at a time. I could be doing something, you know, and you might be interrupting."

"Not what you were DOING. That'sh not what I'D call important. Good heavensh, Kaiba, you're jusht...deshpicable, shometimesh. Honeshtly. You sheem to jusht be looking for an excushe..." Siegfried left it off in a small whine. "You ARE, AREN'T you...?"

"An excuse?" A scoff. "I most certainly think NOT." Or maybe. Perhaps. Sorta. Kinda. "Okay, so the last three times, I really wasn't doing anything. Except playing chess, kicking you out of the house, trying to get dry and warm." He shook his head. "Good god, did you have to do that in front of them all?"

"Yesh. YOU had to TELL them all about it. You fink I could take THAT without at least reacting? That wash NOT a kind fing to do, Kaiba...and now I pay SUCH a prishe. I shound like an incompetent!"

He resisted the urge to agree, lest one of them get another unseemly bruise. "I kept the whole lust thing quiet. At first. How did you expect me to react when you kissed me? And slapped me. And made a fool out of me in front of Seth. God, I was PISSED as hell--you think I was going to keep it all quiet, then?" He crossed his arms, looking just as cross. "I don't do kind, Siegfried. You should know that by now."

"And I don't do it, either. I'm jusht ashking that, you know, you don't do fingsh like TELL PEOPLE WHAT I DON'T WANT THEM TO HEAR. Like, shay, my affection for you," he spat. "You didn't have to shay anyfing about that..."

He really doesn't get it, does he?
"But I did. Guess it's just a liiiittle too late to do anything about THAT, hm? Is there a point you're trying to make here?"

"...no, not really," Siegfried said, shoulders slumping slightly. "Anywaysh. Let'sh change the shubject and -- God, thish ish sho humiliating."

"Change it to WHAT, might I ask?" asked Seto with a tilt of the head. "This whole love...thing...was the only reason I wanted to come over anyway. But I guess if there's nothing TO discuss, I ought to be leaving."

"...okay, fine. You shay shomething, then, that doesh not inshult me, becaushe I am not in the mood..." Siegfried's lip curled slightly. "I am in pain. Thish ish HORRIFYINGLY unhappy. The situation, at leasht...gah."

"This is wonderfully amusing, actually. But I suppose that's insulting, isn't it? Hm..." He feigned thought. "Something that doesn't insult you. Gee, that's certainly a tough one... If I didn't know better--and perhaps I don't--I'd say you were trying to keep me here."

"...look, fine. If you want to go, go. I need to get back to shee if the comment war'sh shtill going because hell, it'sh FUNNY. And I need humour when I am in immenshe pain." Siegfried's eyes narrowed. "No thanksh to YOU."

Seto sneered. "Hn. Was there any OTHER way I was going to get you off of me? Need humor, gee, then why don't you just go humiliate me in public, then, if I'm so much entertainment? You were having fun with that last night."

"You weren't humiliated sho much ash I wash, really. Whoshe fault ish it, the kissher or the kisshee? And who looksh worshe when they get DECKED, hmm? Thish ish QUITE the inconvenience, you know..." he hissed, as well as he could sans "S"s.

"Like I said, you didn't HAVE to kiss me. That just confirms it. People can still deny it as long as it's merely text on a webpage." Could've also waited for nobody to--DAMN IT. He hoped that look like he was about to beat his head into a wall wasn't showing. "YOU could have still denied it. Actually, I think you did. Multiple times. But really... Tch, at least you were spared the wrath of Yami, since he'd left."

Siegfried shrugged. "It'sh jusht one of thoshe thingsh, really. Doeshn't matter much -- or I hope it doeshn't; I'm not re-evaluating my priorities on the shpot. Thish shpeech impediment ish enough to be trying to live with ash it ish. I can barely undershtand myshelf, and I jusht shound like an idiot."

"You do. I almost wish I'd done this before. It's a good thing nobody else can hear you." Aw, damn, and Seto had left his tape recorder at home. "...Except for your other self--or, wait, didn't you say he took off?"

"Yesh, and I have no idea where he went. Nor, for that matter, do I really feel the urge to find out. He wash washting precious oxygen in my houshe; let him rot, for all I care."

"Don't make me smack you upside the head like mun does to me all the time. I would think that you of all people would be a narcissist, but I suppose not so much..." Seto shook his head. "I'm sure somebody's probably bumped into him and has given him a place to stay." A little smirk appeared on his lips. "You're not going to be lonely here without anyone, are you?"

"No, of courshe not," Siegfried said rather defencively. "And I musht inform you, if the thing they call my other shelf wash LIKE me, I would be sho much more accepting...but no, he musht be an IDIOT. It ish pointlesh to try and be kind to such a pershon."

"Hn, then I'm sure you won't mind when I leave you all alone like you normally end up anyway--why the hell do you insist I'm in love with you, anyway?" he suddenly asked, more than a little annoyed. "I have never tried to give you that impression."

"I don't know; don't ashk me," he said, sounding rather more amused than before. "I jusht get that impression. Hell, everyone sheemsh to get that impression. It'sh one of thoshe thingsh..."

"No, actually, I think you're the only one that gets that impression," he growled. "Well, and then there was everyone thinking we were screwing each other, but I think that was more about you in love with me than vice versa."

"I don't know..." Siegfried murmured, shrugging. "Really, I don't. I'm shorry..." he added, rather as an afterthought, "If you're offended."

"Oh, right, NOW you're sorry." He threw his arms up and rolled his eyes. "NOW you're sorry! Excellent timing, Siegfried, very good." He muttered nastily to himself. "Offended, honestly, we've been offending each other for years anyway, god..." Seto folded up his arms again even tighter, glaring at nothing in particular to his right. "I don't see why you'd apologize anyway."

"...I'm not; it merely sheemed like a good thing to shay..." Siegfried said quietly. "Perhapsh you want to go home? I'm not shtopping you, you know, and if you're going to be irritated with me..."

"Then don't say things you don't really mean."
In his head, an idea was forming. It wasn't something he was sure he should do. Especially if others were to find out about it. Sieg would probably tell everyone as revenge for telling people about the love/lust/kisses.
Hn. This was going to prove interesting.
"If you didn't mean to be sorry, then don't apologize."

"Very well, then, I won't," was the rather even (if slightly unclear) response. Siegfried folded his arms. "Jusht thought it might be proper to..."

"And aren't you just the perfect picture of prim and proper..." he muttered.
Should I? Shouldn't I? It'd be damn amusing, though...
He shifted slightly again. "I'm not going to get so pissed off that I'm going to hit you again, you know."

"I'm jusht making sure..." Siegfried said sweetly, "Jusht making sure. I really would rather not go through this ordeal with even more pain; perhaps you can identify shomehow? Even the painkillersh wear off..." And indeed they were, and, he realised, had been for some time. Ow. Owowowowow.

"...But you know what I am going to do?"
Guess I've decided. I should.
He took a few steps closer to Siegfried. "Just a little something before I leave..."

"...what?" Siegfried said warily, hesitantly stepping back. "If thish ish going to hurt..."
Note to self: deliver smackdown for any blows exchanged here publicly, when capable of enunciation so can laugh very loudly about it. Also, buy some milk; running low.

And a little closer, rather enjoying that look on Siegfried's face. "Oh, it might. In fact, I rather hope it does. Oh, no, see, I'm keeping my word--I'm not going to hit you..."

"Oh, you're going to shlap me, then, are you? Thish ishn't really funny..." Siegfried decided to stand his ground. "In fact, if it hurtsh that much, I think I'm going to get really, really irritated about it."
The smackdown will be incredibly painful, perhaps three times the pain of whatever he's going to do to me.

Seto paused, smirking. "No, considering a slap qualifies as a hit. But I think it's funny. In fact, I'll probably be laughing my way out while you're...well, I don't know how you're going to feel, but..."
Without warning, he grabbed Siegfried by the shoulders and pulled him closer, lips descending upon his rather roughly.

Siegfried's eyes widened as he made a rather surpressed squeaky protest...then gave up on that.
It did hurt -- ow. Owowowowowow! -- but...well, this was...how exactly was he supposed to get revenge for this? Three times the pain? Perhaps he'd need to--oh, maybe I ought to focus on this exciting, never-going-to-happen-again event instead of my revenge. After all, there's all the time in the world for THAT...

This was rich. This was just plain FUNNY. It was almost too good to be true.
And then there was the nagging voice in the back of his head saying something about liking this and taste and all sorts of things that ruined the moment.
He pulled away a little slower than he originally intended, but seeing a stunned look on Siegfried's face was just priceless.
Seto let go and shrugged. "Well, that was it. I guess I'll be taking my leave now." He left him standing there. Just like that. Not a word or motion more, not even a snark-filled comment. Just strode up to the door, pulled it open, and left without even a glance back.
This...was just too amazingly good to be true.

"Wha wash tha all about?" Sieg croaked, frozen in place. "I...he...hey..."
No. No. No. He is NOT going to leave without explaining himself. He hates me, he doesn't want me, and yet...and yet...I mean, he could be motivated the same way that I say I am, but then what if he isn't? I'll have to...do SOMETHING, and NOW. Find out. I need to know what his reasoning behind that was.
And he was able to move again, and move he did, running as fast as he could -- pretty decent speed -- out the door and after Seto, dearest beloved Seto the Hated One.
"Kaiba!" he said, just loud enough that he could be heard, "Pleashe excuse me if thish pisses you off shomething awful, but I really would like to know what that wash all about!"

Seto stopped. Should I turn around? I should keep walking. Walking away--fleeing, perhaps?--would be very, very good right now. He turned around to face Siegfried, an eyebrow raised cautiously. ...Damn it. IDIOT.
"Oh, that? It hurt, didn't it? If so, then I think I'll keep walking."

"Yesh, but that'sh not the point. My point ish, what the hell did you do that for?! I--I--" he spluttered, waving his hands helplessly. "I...what the hell?"
Not the most eloquent statement, but it must be said. WHAT THE HELL?

"I wasn't going to hit you. So I got creative and decided to make your jaw hurt a little more. Oh, and completely catch you off guard." He regarded the other with an amused look. "Seems it worked."

"Didn't think you'd shink THAT low, really..." Siegfried murmured. "Damn it, it sheemsh like you're jusht trying to confirm my guesses about you, you know..."

"Now why would I go and do something like that?" he chuckled. "Do you really think I'd let you be right about anything and admit to it? Ha. Hardly."

"Yesh, but that shtill doeshn't explain why you reshorted to THAT. It did NOT hurt ash much ash it COULD have, had you choshen to do shomething elshe, like hit me."

"Hitting you was more of a way to pry you off of me more than anything else. You can probably be sure that the next time you try it, I'll hit you again. But then, I've already warned you about that." He shrugged. "Why NOT resort to that? It was most amusing."

Siegfried's gaze was one of almost pure admiration. "Never thought you'd have it in you, all the shame..." he breathed. "I thought you weren't that type." Type, of course, referring to the type of people who tend to jump at you and start snogging you for no apparent reason, no matter how much they claim they have one.

"...Hn. Well. Seems I am, then? At least I had a reason, not just 'because I felt like it'." Seto cocked his head to the side. All right, so he may not like the title much, but he really was the village loverboy here. "Is there something you were actually going to DO about it?"

"Nothing tha I really can do, ish there? I mean, you'd either deck me, or...deck me. An'...an' I really don't wan' to get decked again. 's inconvenient, and I shound like an idiot." Siegfried winced. "MOSHT inconvenient. I hope to regain mosht of my normal shpeech to-morrow; don' wan' to risk it."

"It's as I suspected. I like to risk things. Especially if I'm fairly certain I can get away with them. Guess you're not really like that, though. Almost a pity." He turned back around. "Almost."

"...I can't get away with it, though..." Sieg's eyes narrowed. "Can I?"

"Most likely not." He wasn't about to give a straight answer for that particular question.

"...sho I shouldn't try...unless you're inshinuating somefing and I should. Confushing, really."

"You think I'm playing your little mind games, do you?" He gazed at Siegfried over his shoulder, quite amused by all of this.

"If you are, I'm quite amushed. Really, you're not bad. If not...gah, you're doing it unintentionally anyways, so it doeshn't matter, really." He blinked. "I would shnark you out, but sheeing ash I cannot pronounce the WORD..."

"Oh, now that's funny. You out-snarking me. Yes, I'm sure that one's possible..." He rolled his eyes. "Hm. Maybe I AM doing it unintentionally. You never know."

"I like the way you think, really, even if it'sh an inconvenience..." Siegfried murmured. "Sho I might ash well take a chance here, really, hm? I don't LIKE chance...but really..."

He quirked another eyebrow. "Might as well, perhaps. Might want to do so, IF you're going to do so, before I leave."

"...I shupposhe rishking my shpeech for another day or two ish a shmall price to pay, sheeing ash I generally ushe the computer to talk...sho I shupposhe, what the hell. ...although I shtill think you're jusht going to punch me anywaysh..."

"Or become apathetic. One or the other, most likely." He slowly turned back around and added in a bored tone, "So are you going to do it or not?"

"Oh, damn it, fine." Siegfried, with a rather exasperated sigh, grabbed his enemy and... "...in semi-public? Odd, but very well." ...started snogging him.
I am dead. I am...so very, very dead...

This act was met with complete apathy. ...Or as much as Seto could muster, anyway. His expression changed little, his posture even less, looking as though he were watching really bad porn. Or watching paint dry. Something like that.
He contemplated decking him again. Perhaps later. Perhaps if the life-sucking leech didn't detatch himself in five or ten minutes. At the moment...naaaah, he was too apathetic to do it.

This is just like kissing a dead fish. Why isn't he reacting at all, damn him?
Siegfried released his enemy with a quiet utterance of disgust.
"You really aren't a good pershon to kisss, are you, Kaiba? It'sh like necrophilia, exshept you're alive." He twitched unhappily. "Pathetic, really..."

"Oh, so sorry, didn't know you wanted me to deck you," he continued in that dull drone. "I'm sure you liked the other times when I reacted. I SAID I'd either deck you or be apathetic. Guess which one I chose this time?" He rolled his eyes.

"...aren't you wonderful. Aren't you divine. I actually tell you I love you, and the mosht you can ever mushter up ish derision and apathy. Feh, I'd have better luck being in love with a rock."

"Have I ever told you how much I love you? No? It's because I don't. Gee, fancy THAT, why don't you. No, no, see, what I MEANT to do was kiss you right back, have you lead me inside like a valiant prince, and then have steamy sex with me. Silly me, I forgot about that part."

"You could at leasht behave like a living creature. You know, I would almosht rather you DECKED me, than jusht shtand there apathetically, because at leasht you'd behave like you were alive. Thish...thish ish why I can't shtand you...thish and everything elshe in the world. I'm not ashking for the world, damn you. Feh," he hissed, "It MUSHT've been a bad move to even tell you anyfing."

"Hn. Perhaps it was. I already warned you apathy might be coming. Don't tell me you honestly weren't prepared to see me--gasp!--not react to you." Seto rolled his eyes. At least he seemed to be getting the upper hand for once.

"I would rather you did," Siegfried responded testily. "Even if that involved hitting me. Any reaction, really, would be better than your apathy." He shrugged. "Perhapsh it'sh jusht me. Tch."

"I don't do the not caring for just anyone," teased Seto. "Though I doubt you'd consider yourself special because of that. You just want me to flail about and look like a shocked idiot."

"Or an irritated idiot. Either worksh, becaushe either'sh human. Thish, however, ish corpshe. Dead fish. And ash a reshult, I feel ash though I am being treated like an object, inshtead of a human being. Again, perhapsh I'm taking it too hard..."

"Oh, quite, I agree. Far too hard." Seto smirked and closed his eyes. "...And the more and more you talk, the more I find it hard to contain my laughter. Just thought you ought to know that."

"Oh, go fuck yourself," Siegfried said evenly, managing not to stumble onto an "S". "I'm bored of your idiocy." He had a little trouble with "idiocy", but it sounded rather better than his previous attempts at the sound. "Fuck off."

"All right, then. I suppose I have overstayed my welcome, then." He shrugged lazily. "Keep practicing and put a little ice on that, and I think you'll sound a bit less like a Looney Toon by tomorrow," he added in a snicker.

Siegfried rolled his eyes, not bothering to try saying anything else, save a long, drawn out, "Tchhhhhh..." Why bother receiving even MORE insults?

"Hn. Toodles, Siegfried." He spun on his heel and trotted back down the path. And he would keep on doing so until he reached home and had a nice, long scream. Or rant on his journal. Or both. Unless Siegfried was going to yet AGAIN stop him. But the way things seemed...well, there wasn't a point, was there?

Siegfried didn't. No, he decided he'd had enough of this, really. He just wanted to...pick on people. Online. Yeeeeah...that'd be nice.
People can't hear you speak online.