Omega19x: "The important thing, no matter what you're trying and what you're doing, is open and honest communication. Tell each othe what you like and what you don't like during the technique. And be honest about it." she smiled. "That way, you'll both be able to explore more securely."
ph33r my rod: Malik nodded again and looked over at Ryou. "That... sounds like something we could maybe try out, huh?"
Omega19x: "... yeah... It's... hard to talk about these things... I don't know what to say..."
Omega19x: "And that's okay. The more you talk about these things openly with your partner, the more comfortable you'll become with talking about them."
ph33r my rod: "That's what we have to do... just talk and be open. Kind of what we're doing today."
Omega19x: Ryou nodded. "Okay..."
Omega19x: "It's important to talk about what makes you uncomfortable." Dr. Roth added. "That was one of the questions on your worksheet too. Would you like to share with me what you wrote down for that question?"
ph33r my rod: Malik looked at his sheet. "Something that makes me uncomfortable... when there's nothing to say or do, when there's just an awkward silence... when I don't know what to say or do."
Omega19x: "I get uncomfortable when I'm pushed into new situations too quickly... I need time to adjust adn get comfortable. I don't like it when lots of things happen at once."
Omega19x: "I see." she mused. "You both compliment each other well, and have an ability to help the other in these feelings, I think. Malik, you need more help when things are very quiet. Ryou, you need more help when things are moving very fast and very loud."
Omega19x: "... I... never thought about that before..."
ph33r my rod: Malik blinked, not having realized it either. "Yeah, that... I can see that, yeah."
Omega19x: "I'll try to help you more in the silences... and... and help start things more. I... I guess I'm kind of afraid that I'll do something wrong, so I usually wait for you to suggest something..."
ph33r my rod: "And I know you hate it when things are moving too quickly. So if I can't stop those kinds of situations, I'll help you cope better..."
Omega19x: "Okay."
ph33r my rod: "...I'll do everything I can."
Omega19x: "And I'll suggest more things too." Ryou nodded. "Um... if... if you don't know what to say... just tell me, okay?"
ph33r my rod: Malik nodded. "And... don't be afraid to tell me if things are moving too fast."
Omega19x: "... okay..."
Omega19x: "Very good, very good."
Omega19x: "This is the kind of communication you need in your relationship - now, and after marriage too."
Omega19x: Ryou nodded. That didn't seem too hard.
ph33r my rod: Malik grinned and squeezed Ryou's hand.
Omega19x: "And not just about the things that make you uncomfortable, but about the things that make you happy and proud too." she reminded them. "Like question 12. Let's take a minute to share the answer to that one. What are your goals in life?"
ph33r my rod: "I just want to make the most out of life while I'm here. I spent a lot of my life just... shut off from the world, and I want to make up for all of those years. I've already done so much, but I want to do even more... with Ryou by my side."
Omega19x: "Allright. That's a very vague goal. What sorts of things do you want to do?"
ph33r my rod: ""Just... everything I can. See more of the world, do things I've never done before, have a family... there's not really any limit to everything I want to do."
Omega19x: "Okay." she looked at Malik again. "What kinds of things can you and your partner do together to help you with that goal? Concrete, measurable steps."
ph33r my rod: "That's kind of what I'm not sure about. There's a lot of things we've done kind of spontanously without any real planning..." Malik scratched his head.
Omega19x: "... maybe we need to do some more planning..." Ryou added quietly. "You're... uncomfortable when you don't know what to say or do... so... so if you plan a little more... maybe that would help that too?"
ph33r my rod: Malik nodded. "That might help, yeah."
Omega19x: "We can... can go on more trips... maybe you could pick up some brochures and... and fiind out where you want to go. And things you want to do..."
ph33r my rod: "We can actually set some time aside to do these things. Like, make them annual trips, or something..."
Omega19x: "Yeah... or more often if... if I can take off work, and we have the money set aside... We can put a certain amount into a travel fund..."
ph33r my rod: Malik smiled. "That would be pretty cool."
Omega19x: "You plan the locations, and the activities... it'll be fun." Ryou smiled.
ph33r my rod: "Okay~"
Omega19x: "Those are good ways to help your goal." Dr. Roth smiled. "Short local trips might be helpful too. There are a lot of things to do around Domino."
ph33r my rod: "Yeah... like when we wanna get out of the house for the while, but don't wanna go too far away."
Omega19x: Ryou nodded. "Just plan out what you want to do, and we can make it happen!"
Omega19x: "That's the spirit." she smiled. "Ryou, what about your goals?"
Omega19x: "um... I wrote... I would one day like to raise a family, and be able to make sure they're taken care of. I would like to one day be comfortable in my own skin..."
Omega19x: "Raising a family - a noble goal, and another point of communication. In fact, one of our later sessions will be all about planning for a future family. So that should help you better define that goal."
Omega19x: "And as to being comfortable in your own skin, I believe we've talked a little bit already about some ways to work towards that goal. Can you think of any others?"
Omega19x: "um... We got a portrait done for my birthday recently... I think that helped. Having someone take pictures. I was really uncomfortable at first, but it got better."
ph33r my rod: Malik smiled. "I'm glad that helped."
Omega19x: "It helped a lot when you were reassuring me." Ryou smiled back.
Omega19x: Dr. Roth glanced at the clock. "I think this has been a very productive session, Malik, Ryou. But it's almost time for my next appointment. So I'll leave you two with a couple of homework assignments."
Omega19x: "There were some questions on that first worksheet that we didn't get to - questions about your family and your childhood. Understanding where we come from can be a good way to help us understand why we do the things we do. I want you two to sit down one evening this week, and go through those questions. Okay?"
ph33r my rod: "Alright." Malik was sort of relieved that he didn't have to share his childhood information there.
Omega19x: Ryou nodded.
Omega19x: "And here's your next worksheet." She handed them a pair of folders marked 'Lifestyle issues.' "This will provide even more talking points. But for right now, I just want you to fill in your own answers with what you want to have happen, especially if it's different than what you have now."
Omega19x: "Just like you filled out this worksheet, keep your answers confidential until both of you are finished, and we'll discuss some of them in our next session."
ph33r my rod: "Okay, gotcha."
Omega19x: Ryou nodded again. "I think this was a really good idea, Malik... coming here....":
ph33r my rod: "I really think it's going to help a lot."
Omega19x: "I'm glad." Dr. Roth smiled.
Omega19x: "The receptionist at the front desk will see to booking your next session."
ph33r my rod: "Okay, thaks." Malik stood up and offered his free hand to Ryou.
Omega19x: Ryou took it with a smile. And together, they headed outside.
Omega19x: (this is good, ne?)
ph33r my rod: (( *nodnod* :3 ))
Omega19x: (teehee)